Thursday, June 17, 2010

Thing that doesn’t get enough credit for how amazing it is 2/Person 2: Christeene

Her act is harder to not look away from than a train wreck. She is everything your usual drag queen isn’t. It's like seeing a prostitute from lower Polk in San Francisco who partied hard for three days straight, fell asleep in the gutter out of exhaustion, got run over a few times, did some more meth, found some pills on the ground and took all of them, then hopped up on stage. During her show I felt happy, surprised, scared, confused, shocked and mystified.

How I discovered her:

A friend says to me, “We are playing Gay Bi Gay Gay this Sunday. And you gotta see the person after us! It’s the craziest drag queen ever.”

I did not believe her. I’ve seen a lot of crazy drag queens, and I’ve performed among some of them. (Btw John if you’re reading this, I still want that video-- you know the one.) But I like drag queens and things that are crazy, so I was intrigued.

I barely made it in time to see my friend’s band do their awesome cover of Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love, and kind of forgot about the “craziest drag queen ever.” But then I saw her on stage and realized a whole new level of insane existed that I was not previously aware of.

Christeene is way beyond the “craziest drag queen ever.” She could keep Austin weird all by herself. She shoved my expectations up her ass, then threw them back at the audience, and after the audience threw them back at her, she covered them with tears from her pussy and said “haaayyyy.” My favorite part of the show was the acappella devotional to Oprah. How many drag queens have you seen that sing original music instead of lip synching? And how many out of those sing acappella? I can only dream of performing alongside her one day. She is the greatest thing I ever saw. And I told her so after the show. She responded (to her bear-partner-guy) "See bay-bay! Sumtimez we make pee-pull happah!!"

I was never happier to have a video camera on me. I wish I could have recorded the whole thing, but I only managed to get a fraction of the glory, and not even the best parts at that. So I’m not going to post it here, (plus it would probably count as porn, which is most likely against the terms and conditions) but I’ll leave you with her Twitter, Facebook page, and website instead.

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